Im dating a mormon missionary

He’s bought me lunch and dinner a bunch of times and sometimes we run errands together.

We’ve had really good talks and though he was cagey about talking about his religion when we first met, he’s become really open with me about his mission and his upbringing.

I have legitimately had thoughts of pretending I believe in God and even converting to Mormonism just for this dude who I’ve never even kissed! First of all, JANE, you know how your advice worked out for me. I am in love, and I finally cracked the code of life, and I see everything in little green Matrix lines of ones and zeros and there will be no more problems or complications from here on out. Sometimes you are obviously right, like back when you were only interested in dating married tattoo artists, or back when I was only interested in dating women who fundamentally disliked me, but there has to also be a version where someone meets someone they like and recognizes that there are some red flags, and in this awareness they are able to make it work because they finally have their eyes open? Truly and deeply filled with shame and regret, here. I’ll be more thoughtful in the future.(And that, my people, is how you fucking APOLOGIZE!

Caveat: I’m pretty sure I’ll be giving contradictory advice by the end of this thing. You’re spinning out on the wrong person and some orgasms will shift your focus. Is that completely outside the realm of possibility even? If you’re too scared to take Step One, which is fine, Step One can be one of the scariest steps, but if you’re too scared for that then you def might not be ready for the One Hundred Million Steps that will for sure follow. I’ve genuinely loved (half) the people you’ve dated so I’m embarrassed this is the takeaway. Boo ya.)Back to this lady, another issue that was kind of glossed over is that this guy is still actively proselytizing. As is typical of almost anyone describing anything, this woman takes a lot for granted.

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Letter the second: For the past 7 years, I have been best friends with an amazing guy. He’s always had a huge crush on me and I’ve known that, and he continues to feel that way while on his mission currently.

Two letters this week, both about love and missionaries. It’s true–I once promised myself to a soon-to-be missionary after a tram ride to the top of Bridal Veil Falls in Provo Canyon. This week’s two questions come to us from young women who are also thinking about “their” missionaries. When you laugh, the way your head tilts–it’s irresistible. The man I’m with does in no way believe in any religion. As if you are a pile of iron filings that can be magnetically drawn this way and that by the influence of the men who love you. If both your missionary and your lover (*poof*) magically disappeared from the face of the earth tomorrow, what kind of a conversation would you have with God? Send your query to [email protected], or follow @askmormongirl on Twitter.

(All Mormon girls do at one time or another.) And it’s true, I failed miserably, miserably, to wait for that missionary. And, yes, well, there are some painful details here too. I don’t know how to go forward or how to make a decision. And thinking about leaving him for (pretty much) another guy/lifestyle feels like I’m betraying him and that hurts. If all men–every last sweet handsome one of them–(*POOF*) magically disappeared from the face of the earth tomorrow–all the grandfathers, fathers, priesthood leaders, bishops, brothers, husbands, boyfriends, used-to-be-boyfriends, friends–what would you do with yourself? Notice that she does not ask what you think someone else would like you to do with your one wild and precious life.

Kirby: Forty years is the average time it takes for the church to institute a change to something the rest of the world already considers old-fashioned... Unless, of course, you're expecting a paycheck instead of just blessings. Am I the only one who doesn't feel like going to church tomorrow?

I'd much rather take the kiddos to our local park with a nice picnic and stake out a good spot near the playground to watch the fireworks.

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